Good Vibrations / Bones vibracions

I am setting myself up as a sales agent (autònom). Currently I am looking into the condom business and must say that it is different from what I expected. The argument that condoms are the best protection against sexually transmitted diseases does not sell and as the manufacturers are searching for new ways to market their products, my perception of national characters is being challenged.

Being a Swede living abroad, people from other countries often tell me how open minded they believe that we are when it comes to sex. And although I cannot claim to recognise myself in the stereotype, I certainly have thought us to be a lot more liberal than the, in our eyes, prudish English or traditional catholic Spaniards.

Not so any longer. After a market survey revealed that as many as one third of English women own one or more sex toys, UK based Durex decided to add dildos and stimulator rings to their condom range and they are now the leaders in promoting “sexual wellbeing”. By shifting the distribution from seedy porn shops to honourable pharmacies and with sophisticated feminine packaging, they intend to make the purchase less embarrassing. And it works, not only in England but also here in Catalonia is it now possible to leave a pharmacy with a pack of bandaids, some headache pills and a vibrator. As if that would not be enough, TV advertising on a daily basis shows us how a married couple wakes up in their bed and realise that it is time to ‘fill their life with good vibrations’.

Swedish quality condom manufacturer RFSU has been slower to enter into this market and since they have a dominating market position in the Nordic countries, customers have had to wait. But today media reports that they will launch a similar offer. True, Durex Play is the pioneer, but the Swedish alternative Trust in Lust has a more inspiring name (at least to me but, admittedly, I am not a native speaker) and more fun-oriented packaging. Let us see if this will be enough to stir up the imagination and fantasy among my fellow countrymen. The English and Spanish are ahead of us and we have a reputation to live up to.

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Els suecs tenim molt poques inhibicions sexuals, ho coneixeu tots no? Això és una fama que ens persegueix pertot arreu del mon i el dilema de la meva generació – diguem els nens d’aquells suecs sense tabús – és que molts de nosaltres no podem identificar-nos-hi. Però, clar, quan nosaltres mateixos ens comparem amb gent de un país catòlic, com ara Catalunya, ens pensem ser més liberals i sense prejudicis.

Per tant em sorpren el desenvolupament que podem veure a les farmàcies. És cert que per aquí encara es poden trobar farmacistes que per convicció religiosa no volen vendre pastilles anticonceptives (cosa que no ocorre a Suècia) però alhora hi ha cada cop més botigues on es venen massatgedors i estimuladors per a ella i anells per a ell.

Si avui aneu a una farmàcia a Suècia (encara és un monòpol estatal que es diu Apoteket, vereu que no n’hi ha res de similar. RFSU - la nostra marca de condons de qualitat i fins i tot ètics, ja que l’empresa reinverteix el seu benefici en una ONG – fins fa pocs anys era considerat radical per celebrar el plaer sexual, però aquesta vegada no som progressistes. Acaban de llançar-se unes joguines eròtiques, però fins el mes de juny la venda es realitza únicament a través de l’Internet.

Imagineu-vos si tota la gent del nostre barri a Vilanova ja està jugant. No seria una vergonya si nosaltres, com representants locals de Suècia, fòssim els últims a aceptar les noves tendències? “Omple la teva vida de bones vibracions” ens repeteixen a la publicitat a la tele. Ja hem entés. Hem de defendre l’honor de la nostra nació.